Carrots, Eggs & Coffee Beans - A Recipe for Thought

There had to be a reason I love coffee so much!  When a dear friend sent me this story months ago, I saved it for a blog to share over the holidays.  I hope this will give you some gentle thoughts and perhaps a new appreciation for the humble coffee bean.


A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her.  She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up.  She was tired of fighting and struggling.  It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.

Her mother took her to the kitchen.  She filled three pots with water and placed each one on a high fire.  Soon the three pots came to boil.  In the first pot she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans.  She let them sit and boil; without saying a word.

After 20 minutes she turned off the burners.  She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl.  She pulled the eggs out and placed them  in a bowl.  Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl.  Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me what you see."

"Carrots eggs and coffee," she replied.

Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots.  She did and  noted that they were soft.  The mother then asked the daughter to take and egg and break it.  After peeling off the shell, she observed the hard boiled egg.  Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee.  The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma.  Then the daughter asked, "What does all this mean?"

"This is about adversity - the boiling water.  Each thing we put into the boiling pot reacted differently.  The carrot went in strong, hard and unrelenting.  However after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak.  The egg had been fragile.  Its thin outer shell had protected the liquid interior, but after sitting in the boiling water, its inside became hardened.  The ground coffee beans were unique, however.  After they were in the boiling water, they changed the water!

"Which are you?" she asked her daughter.  When adversity knocks on your door, how do YOU respond?  Are you a carrot, and egg or a coffee bean?"

Think about this.  Which am I?  Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?

Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat?  Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff?  Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?

Or, am I like the coffee bean?  The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain.  When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor.  If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation  around you....when the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate yourself to another level? 

How do YOU handle adversity?  Are you a carrot, and egg or a coffee bean?

The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along.  The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past --- you can't go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

May  you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, and enough hope your tomorrow.

This is the "official" end of the story. 

I wish all of you Peace and Happiness this Holiday Season!
Hugs,
suZen

Twas the Night After Christmas?

I sincerely hope the Holidays are merry for one and all!  In this time of political correctness - which is a bit over the top sometimes if you ask me - here is a version of "The Night Before Christmas" by none other than Larry the Cable Guy!  I hope you get a laugh out of this!  ENJOY - with or without the spiked eggnog!

Happy Winter Solstice!

Today is the day!  December 21st is Winter Solstice everywhere yet few celebrate it or even care.  Most are plodding away through a 12 month calendar year and traditionally end the year in a hoopla of festivities.

This  could be the time of year for wrapping up more than gifts.  We have the opportunity to assess how the old goal-setting program is going - did you get where you wanted to be at years end?  Or did you get side-tracked by a bazillion things?  A year can be so long - or perhaps not long enough!  I guess that depends on how you look at it. 

 I am excited over  Winter Solstice  since I use the solistices and equinoxs for goal setting - it's my 90-day program many of you know about already. I don't do New Year's Resolutions - a year is just too long for me, and often I forget what I resolved to do or change - yep, I have a 90-day sort of resolution period and find this HIGHLY effective!  It allows me to stay more present moment focused too.  I'm not looking at where I want to be a year from now - just 90 days from now, on Spring Equinox.

The TV was on while I was cleaning the house the other day, HGTV's House Hunters. At the end of this episode, the woman who just purchased her first house said NOW she is ready for the next step in her life.

The next step? She hasn't unpacked yet. No indication if she knew what this next step was supposed to be, but, by golly, she was pumped and ready to move on to something else.  I found myself telling the TV, and her, "Hey, unpack already!  Enjoy where you are!"

She may have been indicating that she was now ready for marriage? But it made me wonder if we have a tendency to rush through life with our eyes and minds focused not where we are, but on the distant next step. Isn't that how people trip? Looking somewhere else?

I know goals and plans are important.  My question to you is:  How much time do you think you spend mentally in your future?  How might setting goals quarterly, instead of annually, change things for you?

Trying, trying, trying - Or Not?

I don't know about you, but I was raised to try, to keep trying, to try and try again.  Sound familiar?  Wasn't it exhausting?  Sometimes I think God let me succeed at something only out of pity cuz I was trying soooo darn hard!

Studying Zen has been quite enriching and I found this little blurb of a video from an interview Eckhart Tolle did with Oprah - actually addressing trying in an Zen Master story.  See what you think!

Letter to Santa - or - Venting is Therapy!

Ok, already,
Dear Santa,
What do I REALLY REALLY want for Christmas???  It took getting in touch with my FEELINGS to know the answer and I've been in therapy all year to accomplish this and it hasn't been easy, you know!

As my therapist suggested, I need to really TELL YOU how I am feeling and THEN ask you for what I REALLY want.  She is totally convinced that once I deal with my inner resentment, anger and frustration, that my physical oddity, the old Red Nose thing, will disappear.

I didn't ALWAYS have a red nose, you know.  I believe now that it is merely a physical manifestation of inner hostility and once I deal with this, and let it go, the Red of the Nose will go away.  So, if you will permit me - ho ho ho, why am I still clinging to this attitude of needing your permission? - I am dumping - period!

First of all, I did NOT need your special attention.  I know you took pity on me cuz the other guys sorts rejected me.  It was zit.  A small red zit.  Well at first that's all it was.  All your special attention to this and your interference to make me "integrated" with the others did nothing but embarrass me!  Oh I know you had the very best of intentions here, Mr. Jolly, but please see how very out of touch you were with the Me that is!  You really should look into why oh why you insist on putting the FUN in dysFUNctional.  Give it up, ok?

Then, to make matters worse, you have actually cashed in big time on my physical feature and USED me!  You exploited my Red Nose condition!  Did you ever ASK me if I want to lead the team?  No!  I'm just not into "team sports" ok?  Or was this just your way of getting FREE light without having to pop for airplane beacons?

Boy, go ahead, make me feel REALLY weird why don't you?  I get stuck being the leader of the sled pulling the team.  You think this is a treat?  Well let me tell you, it is NOT!

Nobody on that team pulls their own weight and I'm out there in front pulling NOT just you and that sled (what is the approximate weight of THAT, huh?) but I'm pulling guys who are out of shape and 200 pounds heavier than I am.  Truth be told they are SLACKERS!  They're huffin' and puffin' behind me, all eight of them, spewing their reindeer breath all over me too.  What are those guys EATING anyway?  I can sure understand why you wear that mask now - it's gotta be WAY worse on YOUR end!  Peeyew!

So WHO leads the way?  Who gets to choke on the wind?  Who gets snow in his ace so he can't even see where he's going?  Red light, schmed light.  It ain't no beacon!  And who gets blamed when we get lost?  I hate that.  That blame thing. 

I know you think this year will be better.  You think Yahoo Maps are the very link to the expediency we need.  Frankly, I wish you'd really get with it and just ship this stuff UPS.  Sleds are really SOOOO yesterday!

As for you making a legend out of me, well great.  I never saw one penny of the residuals from this blatant exploitation of my personal physical condition!  I may even see a lawyer next, Fatman!

Ok, what's done is done, big guy.  I'm simply letting out my feelings here.  And hey - ya know what?  There is a definite absence of Red glow on my nose already.  Hey, I think this is working for me.  The therapy lady was right - it's been an angry glow of hostility!

So, all I REALLY want for Christmas????

To be let loose, preferably in St. Lucia, some recovery time at the spa at LeSport Resort, and leisure time to roam the rainforest.

Please just call Vacations by Globetrotters and make a LAND only booking for me.  Obviously, I can "do" my own air!

Sincerely,
Rudolph



Happy Holidays to all!  I wrote this in '99 for a contest at the travel company I was working for - and yes, LeSport is real, the spa heavenly but no Rudolph in sight!  Oh wait.  I did see one reindeer - hmmm, no Red Nose.  Maybe it WAS him!

Joy and More Joy

Spreading Joy - We don't need a season for this but it sure is a popular notion in December.  Here's a really cute cartoon video with a happy song - take a few minutes and get your joy oiled up!  Have a JOYOUS weekend!

Consenting to Feel Icky

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."  Eleanor Roosevelt.

I like thinking about that statement.  I know that it is truth, without question!  Does it end here?  No, not really.  I think back to all the times I've said or thought - He makes me feel guilty............she makes me feel stupid...............he makes me nervous........she makes me feel angry, fat, restless, insignificant or impatient --- throw in whatever word you want.

I do remember exactly when the Eleanor quote really registered with me, and when it really did, it made a HUGE difference to my inner thoughts and feelings.  I have the power to choose - there is nobody on this earth that can MAKE ME FEEL something I don't want to feel.   I will no longer "consent".

The year before my mom died, we were having lunch out together in a cute restaurant, my treat.  My mom proceeded to thank me for a lot of things I had done for her lately, and bought for her lately.  "Honey, you are so generous!" she said.  I was in total shock!  And here is why.

My mom never yelled at me when I was a child - except once.  I don't remember the circumstances at all, but she yelled "Why are you so selfish all the time?"  I was maybe 11.  It never left me.  I internalized that right into my heart - after all she yelled this - so wow, this is REALLY bad!  So I became a generous person with the wrong motivation - I was generous so nobody would ever tell me I was selfish,  and NOT because it was my nature but I couldn't stand the disapproval, what others thought of me, and on and on.

So I told my mom that day all about this.  She teared up.  She said she NEVER thought I was selfish, didn't remember any incident EVER yelling that at me and in fact, she said I was always a very generous child to the point of giving away what little I had.  She felt so badly that I'd walked around some 30 years feeling like I had to prove to the world I was not selfish.  I felt like my heart was able to let go of an ugly imbedded thorn that day.  My mom gave me that quote from Eleanor - one of the most precious gifts she ever gave me. 

So now,  I give it to you.  Slip into it like a cozy pair of slippers and let it warm your heart.  As I look at the day today, December 7th, I smile.  It was mom's birthday!